Making Peace with Anger

Anger is a billion dollar industry, but the toll it takes on you costs even more than that. Hollywood portrays it and sells it in the latest multi-million dollar feature film. Politicians leverage it in their ploys and gambles to gain or keep office. Anger. It is what destroys most of us. It is the emotion that will cause you to make the most foolish decisions. There are plenty of things to be angry about and I’m not trying to tell you that you don’t have a right to be angry either. We simply need to change our relationship with anger. 

Making your friends choose either you or your now ex lover after you break up is an immature action founded in that anger. Punching a hole in your wall is an action founded in anger. Striking someone not out of self defense is an action founded in that anger. What good comes from anger? A Sith lord might argue that it fuels you, it gets you moving, off your feet. Sure, it’s hard to argue with that. Anger can be a motivator. Anger can push you. Anger has pushed me. It has pushed me to be a better man than my father. It has pushed me to become skilled enough in Martial Arts so that I might be able to protect young girls like my sister from men like her murderer. Anger can be a tool but more often than not, you are not trained to use it and it will always lead to self destruction. Anger always bites back. 

Anger and hate are a black box I keep on a shelf. I just don’t let that hate touch my soul anymore. It turned my life dark for a long time. I realized life doesn’t have to be about drinking myself to death. It doesn’t have to be about my next cigarette. It could be so much more if I just gave myself an opportunity for growth. I found that my hate wasn’t letting me grow. I was too focused on it. Of course, I needed to grieve, but there was so much more to this than just grieving. I needed to pack that black box up and put it on that shelf. I still look at it from time to time. It fuels me. It fuels me to work harder, to train harder, to start a blog on martial arts, motivation, etc. Basically, it’s a fuel I use to temper my blade, but it’s not my blade.

I am making peace with it. I am making peace with the past so that my present isn’t consumed, so that my future isn’t thrown away. I may use my anger as a honing block now, but I don’t want to keep it. It is not a tool I want in my shed. It’s too dangerous. I want to remove anger from my life completely. I’m just not there yet.

As I said above, Anger will cause you to make the most foolish decisions. Have you ever made a foolish decision out of compassion or love? Have you ever made a foolish decision out balance or tranquility? True power lies not in beating down your opponents, in destroying every obstacle before you, but how you react to your external stimuli. If you take a step back and look at this world with ration and logic before you make any decisions, well that my friend is true power. If you let the words of others anger you, and let that anger control you, then you are letting the people angering you to control you.

This is something you should strive for as well. We all should. Anger leads to more than just revenge, which is never worth it. Anger leads to depression, anxiety, distress, and negativity. We must learn to let go of it and the things we’re holding on to. We really do attract what we put out into the world. I’m not saying that if you chant some astrological mantra about bringing money into your house that you’ll get a raise, but I’m saying that putting a smile on and fighting that negativity, keeping away from the things and people that bring you down, and focusing on the good will make you happier more days than you might be now.

The past is a story we tell ourselves. Let’s make sure the present becomes a wonderful story by not allowing the past and the angers embedded therein to control us now.

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